Often it's not very hard to know the right thing to do; the hard thing is to do it.
Mennonite in a Little Black Dress by Rhoda Janzen articulates a critical metric in intimate relationships. The other's quirks are not annoying to the lover; the other's quirks annoy infinitely the one who does not truly love. Watch for that, kids.
Janzen stayed fifteen years in a marriage that I can only describe as horrific and was, in the end, left by her husband, who seemed to be an abusive and controlling fellow who blamed the worst of his bad behavior on "bipolarity".
You already know what I think about that, but I'll reiterate that if any medical condition causes a person to act out, that person needs to seek out and follow an appropriate regime to get herself under control. Diabetes, high blood pressure, bipolar, OCD -- I've heard 'em all used by people who do not want to follow the rules for staying in bounds.
Janzen's husband thought that effective treatment for bipolar blunted his "edge" of creativity and energy. Damn right it did, I hope! He was evaluating his "edge" with a broken brain, a brain that wasn't taking in his impact on the world.
This woman's case was extreme and she wasn't willing to hear anything that might have been a criticism of her beloved. But you, you standing on the precipice of decision, do the right thing, whatever you know it to be. Go to school, change jobs (before you quit the one you have), have the baby, stay in the house or move, drop the girl and move on or move out, marry or leave, stay in touch or break cleanly, read the book or pass it along: commit.
Commitment begins with my knowing my values and then holding myself rigorously accountable: my diet, my doctor's appointments, my assignments, my housework, my doing what I can to add to the joy and safe intimate space for the ones I love.
This morning, sitting in this bleak and supposedly luxurious lounge, that is what I say to myself and, with tremendous compassion, to you. Have things right in your life. It isn't easy, but it's simple and you already know that.
I cannot say it better than William Stafford in The Little Ways That Encourage Good Fortune.
Encourage good fortune in your life, my friend. I am living to do the same.